Tuesday 13 January 2015

The Long-Distance Grandma

Six years ago, when my first granddaughter was born 1700km (1056 miles) away, I found it quite distressing not being able to see her until I went on holidays a few weeks later as I was working part-time at that stage. One of my colleagues, who was a grandmother herself and had grandchildren living in other cities, gave me a book by Janet Colsher Teitsort called ' Long-Distance Grandma: How to Stay Connected with Grandkids Far Away'. I have the 1998 edition but I just noticed that there is a more recent edition available.


On the back cover it says: Once upon a time, Grandma's house was just over the river and through the woods. But in today's mobile society, there may be several rivers to cross and woods to go through before arriving at Grandma and Grandpa's. Grandchildren and grandparents may even have to fly the friendly skies in order to visit one another. How very true that is in my case and that of many other grandparents I dare say!

In the introduction the author expresses how upset she felt when her daughter's family moved interstate and how she had had to come to terms with and accept the situation. She then put plans in place to keep in contact with her grandchildren so that she and her husband remained a very important part of their life. She decided to do fun things with the children each month of the year using the various holidays that are celebrated in the US as her theme. 


So in January, which she writes is a time of new beginnings, she suggested taking photos of the grandparent's home as well as them going through their daily routine for the children to get a feel of what Grandma and Grandpa's house looks like if they haven't seen it before. Perhaps include the photos in a calendar for them as well.  She would often send recipes for meals to suit the season. Another idea was to send jigsaw puzzles to each family of grandchildren if there was more than one and she included a packet of popcorn for each family to pop and eat when they were doing the jigsaw. These days the families could Skype each other at the same time which would be fun.


 

 As the book is written very much for the US market and centres around the various holidays as I mentioned, I have tried to come up with some creative ideas over the years that I thought the girls would enjoy. When they were very little I followed the blogs written by young mums with children the same age as them so I got an idea of what would interest them at certain stages they were going through.
 


 As I worked in a library and handled lots of children's books I had the advantage of checking out suitable books for the girls and since they were babies they have been receiving them in the mail from Nanna. My six year old granddaughter will now be going into Year One this year being able to read really well.


Being straight-line challenged I successfully made the girls a Rag Quilt each...

 

...as the edges are frayed so the crooked seams aren't noticed....hopefully :-) Another one is in the pipeline for Isaiah James.

 

When I am visiting I try to record activities we have done together and it is always interesting for them to look at the photos on my camera which have been taken over the years. They get a real kick out of that. Of course, I also have the photos saved onto the computer or a USB....just in case!

 

 Another little tradition is sending up a box full of goodies via the Greyhound coach for their birthdays. When sales are on I will often pick up a little something for them and put it aside until their birthdays are approaching then everything is boxed up and sent and I think the lady working in the Greyhound office also enjoys the occasion as well when Mum and Dad take the girls in to pick it up.


As my youngest granddaughter loves all wildlife known to man, I wrote a little story for her when she turned four which you can read here. I had taken the photo of the butterfly during a recent visit prior to her birthday so used it in the story. She couldn't understand why the story said the butterfly was on her bedroom window when it was actually on the window at church so her mum had some explaining to do about the difference between fact and fiction :-)



Well, there are a few ideas about how I try to relate to my grandchildren while living so far away. For any nannas out there who are sad because they rarely see their granddaughters or grandsons, try and think of some creative ways that you can strengthen your relationship with them especially when they are little. That will lift your spirit and help you to cope with the situation. Of course, some grandparents don't have access to their grandchildren but that is a whole different story and a very distressing situation. 

I imagine that Skype is very much a part of the long distance relationship for many families but unfortunately a dodgy internet connection where my grandchildren live doesn't make that possible. So do share how you keep in contact with your grandchildren if you are in the same situation. I am sure I am not the only long-distance grandma :-)





25 comments:

  1. Oh my, i wish you were my grandmother. What a huge thing you are doing for them. I feel a bit teary!! Will i ever be a grandmother?

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  2. I'll be your grandmother, Lynda :-)

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  3. This would have been a great book for my children's grandmother but it might be too late now that they are mostly grown up. Sadly I don't think it would have made much difference anyway. I know that when/ if I am ever a grandmother, I want to be a part of my grandchildren's lives no matter where they live.
    Your grandchildren are lucky to have such a lovely grandmother.

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    1. Tracy, I am sure you will make a great grandma.

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  4. What a lovely post. I don’t have children or grandchildren but I have a lovely niece who is great company and who is a delight to have around. I always plan activities for her visits so that she is not bored. It was one of your posts that gave me the inspiration for one of our next projects. So thank you very much! :-) Your post had a link to simple hand sewing projects for children. So I went to Spotlight yesterday and bought a piece of brightly patterned material and my niece can have a go at stitching around the pictures on the fabric. I also have decorating headbands, making pom poms and making simple decorations for Australia Day as other activities, and as always I will have something on hand for her to read. I think your quilts are beautiful. I would be very proud of them if I had made them.

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  5. You sound like you are a great Aunty, Sherri. I am glad you got some inspiration from one of my posts. One of the reasons I started this blog was to share some of the info I had found about doing various activities with children.

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  6. a great post! yep i got a little teary eyed too! i don't have grandies yet & 2 of my children are only 2 & half hours away so not too far for us, will be a lot different for the one in england as she is planning on staying in ireland with her beau & so far the only one who wants to have children.
    lovely post
    thanx for sharing

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  7. Ireland....now that would be a nice place for a grandma to visit!

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  8. A beautiful post, Chel - tears-a-plenty here too. As you know I will probably never be a grandmother so its lovely to read about your grandchildren. Both girls look so snug under their shaggy quilts.

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  9. I know, Sandi. It is hard. Big hugs!

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  10. Must be hard with them so far and only the occasional face to face visit. I am very lucky (?) Miss M just waddles across the street and up the driveway, all of 80 metres. Gorgeous girls in the pics.

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  11. Miss M will have lovely memories of her grandma, Deb. Nice to be so close.

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  12. Your grandies are very fortunate to have you then....and that rag quilt is just super. I am dropping hints at home about rag quilts

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  13. Keep dropping the hints, Phil. I am sure you will all love making up the quilts. Perhaps do a row each to start off with. Once you have planned the design and have the squares cut out it becomes quite addictive after that.

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  14. Oh this is spot on for me, I have been a little 'down' about not getting to go see the kids and Miss Lily for Christmas and needed a gentle kick in the appropriate place to remind me to do the things I know I can do and let the rest go! I never lived close to either of my grandmas and had a wonderful close relationship with them both - it required work! Thanks for the encouraging post!

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  15. Yes Kathy, I used to feel that way too but once I came to terms with it and starting taking action I felt so much better.

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  16. Lovely post. I'm slowly getting back in touch with my step-grandkids but their mother was distant towards me. Strange as it's their father I was step-mum to and he liked me better than his own mum.

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  17. Goodness Rob...that sounds complicated :-)

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  18. Nanna Chel,
    I have squares ready for a rug quilt. When mum and dad's first grandchild was born interstate they used to talk to her on the phone. When she first saw them and heard them she took to them like a duck to water.
    -Shiralee.

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  19. Shiralee, give us some updates on how the quilt is going. Isaiah James listens intently when he hears me on the phone. He probably associates my voice with the early hours of the morning when I was trying to get him to sleep and give his mum a break. :-)

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  20. What a fantastic thing you are doing. Even though you are not in their lives daily, they know that Nanna loves them in a special long distance way. Getting together face to face must be special indeed!

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    1. Joolz, I hope your girls stay close by when they have their children.

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  21. Naw Chel, Your gorgeous! We are looking at possibly moving interstate one day.... I will keep your story and book recommendation in mind for our parents.

    xx

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  22. Your poor parents, Emma. It will be sad for them but I am sure they will cope with the issue like all of us long distance grandparents have to.

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  23. What a lovely grandmother you are! I'm not to that stage of life yet, but it's something that I certainly look forward to. Love your raggy quilts and all those little efforts you've made to be connected to the children, it's just beautiful!

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